Essentialist Explanations + Other Wordplay
1. Essentialist Explanations (of languages) < http://mercury.ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html > [A] list of 735 'essentialist explanations' of the form 'Language X is essentially language Y under conditions Z' Examples: * "English is essentially Low German plus even lower French minus any sense of culture" * "English is essentially a stripped-down Germanic lang with Baroque-style Norman French ornamentation glued on at odd angles" * "French is essentially Latin on a catwalk" * "German is essentially a language developed by a group of Teutons who gathered in the forest one day to come up with a language that their enemies would have no chance of grasping" * "Dutch is essentially English spoken with a French accent by a German" * "Welsh is essentially some reasonable language that had its stock of vowels pillaged by Polynesians, yes, but which one? Irish? They really don't sound that much alike" * "Welsh is essentially what appears on the screen after you have inadvertently been resting your elbow on the keyboard" * "Gaelic sounds like Dutch on Acid" * "Australian English is essentially Cockney without the refinement" * "Today's British English is what today's American English would have become if Americans hadn't had any fun either" * "Governmentese is essentially a branch of spoken and written English designed to say nothing with as many words as possible hoping that the nothing is lost in the translation" 2. "Tingo, nakkele and other wonders" < http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4248494.stm > "English is a rich and innovative language. But you can't help feeling we're missing out... Malay, for instance, has gigi rongak - the space between the teeth. The Japanese have bakku-shan - a girl who appears pretty from behind but not from the front. Then there's a nakkele - a man who licks whatever the food has been served on (from Tulu, India)" "The Meaning of Tingo" < http://www.themeaningoftingo.com/ > A blog by the author of the book mentioned in the above article 3. American and British English differences < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_differences > "Although spoken American and British English are generally mutually intelli- gible, there are enough differences to occasionally cause awkward misunder- standings or even a complete failure to communicate" a. List of British English words not used in American English < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_English_words_not_used_in_ American_English > b. List of American English words not used in British English < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_English_words_not_used_in_ British_English > c. List of words having different meanings in British and American English < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_words_having_different_meanings_in_ British_and_American_English > 4. "Show me the way to Scratchy Bottom" < http://driving.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,22750-1794328,00.html > "Rude Britain is a compilation of the country's 100 rudest place names" "Local names make rude Britain" < http://www.thisisscunthorpe.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=152816& command=displayContent&sourceNode=152546&contentPK=13088344 > Lists all 100 of Britain's most double entendre-riddled towns, villages and streets